The Joke Book

Q: Why does paper cut you?

A: Because trees have knives on them.

Q: Why do cows have bells?

A: Because their horns don't work.

Q: What is the biggest pencil in the world

A: Pennsyvania

The Turtle and the God

Once upon a time, there was a turtle. He lived in the sky. He found a god. The god was a bad guy. The god said, "I am going to eat you!" But when he was about to drop him in his mouth, the turtle was reading a spell book. And when he saw the page, it was a hypnotize page. He hypnotized the god saying, "Make you hypnotized, make you hypnotized, hypnotize you, hypnotize you." And then his magic came out of his hands. He told him to dig into the ground until he reaches the other side of the earth.

All the other gods used all their magic to make one big trophy to give to the turtle. And they sent him back into a pond on Earth.